Day: 14
Dates Remaining: 33
I was just about glued to the couch last night when a guy that I had recently met at a party called. We chatted for a bit before realizing that we both had no plans for the evening. Being Spontaneous, he suggested an impromptu date and since I was almost done all of my Grey's Anatomy episodes that were keeping me stuck on the couch, I happily agreed. I don't want you to think it was just about the TV episodes being done, I was also keen to see Spontaneous again.
So he picked me up and off we went to a local lounge for some food and drinks. As we wandered around trying to find a table, I spotted Hunter Gatherer (see Hunter Gatherer post) in the corner. He was busy chatting with someone so Spontaneous and I went to find a table before I could say hello.
As it turns out, we found a table right next to where Hunter Gatherer was sitting with his big crew of friends. He blatantly did not want to talk to me as he avoided making eye contact when he walked right past me. He was obviously angry.
I quickly forgot about that as I had a fantastic time chatting with Spontaneous who turned out to be a wonderful guy. He was attentive, attractive, comical and a great date.
When we were about to leave, I stood up to put my coat on and looked over to Hunter Gatherer. I took two steps towards him and said, "Hey, how's it going?" I really didn't see why we couldn't be friendly; however, he simply glared at me with piercing eyes and said, "Fine." A few moments later, in a snooty tone, he said, "How are you?" I told him that I was fine and then asked him how things were going. To that, he rudely responded: "Could be better."
He was acting as though I had ripped his heart out of his chest and pounded it with a hammer. It is interesting because I called him this past week to talk about the blog but he failed to return my phone call. I guess he is thoroughly unimpressed and for that I feel bad. But I hope that he can understand that I have been nothing but honest and that being an aspiring writer is not always easy.
Either way, I told him that I hope he enjoys the rest of his evening and we said good bye. I turned around and as I walked over to join Spontaneous so we could leave, Hunter Gatherer's friend exclaimed, "See you online!" I'm guessing that was meant to be a rude, snooty remark but Spontaneous and I couldn't get enough of this spectacle. It was like being back in kindergarten.
We ended the evening with a great chat over tea before Spontaneous drove me home. You know what, when I was in university, my Mom taught me that a proper date should always walk me to the door. I always thought she was onto something but so far, not one person has gotten out of their car to walk me to the door. Is this element of chivalry dead?
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I think what you're doing is interesting and ambitious. However, I'm wondering why posts about some of your dates are so cruel. It seems as though your writing is somewhat mediocre, and maybe that's why you try to get followers by making fun of your dates.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things you mentioned on your BT interview was that it's important to be yourself. Some of your dates are just being themselves, which is very hard on a first or second date. By mocking them online, you're punishing them for taking the risk to be open and honest.
I'm sure you'll continue with what you're currently doing, and that's your right. I would just like to ask how you would feel if you went out with a guy once or twice, and he blogged about it for the world to see. Not only would he talk about how the date was (which I think is fine), he would give you a funny nick name and write about why he thinks you're not a good date. I know I would feel pretty embarrassed and would be more jaded about dating in general.
You obviously work really hard, but sometimes it's good to take a moment to evaluate the work you're actually doing. Thanks for reading, good luck.
the 'snooty' remark serves you right for writing such a disrespectful and rude blog about 'hunter gatherer'. Did you ever think that your disrespectful comments might hurt someones feelings? The way you wrote it was intentionally mean. You also poked fun at his values and everything he stands for. bad form...bad form. Honesty is the best policy for sure...but you could've written about your 'date' with him in a more respectful, humane way....you seem misguided on your self awareness....good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteAlright, so you ran into “Hunter Gatherer” and he was snooty to you. Do you really expect him not to be? I suppose you could contend that your inability to recognize why someone might not care to acknowledge you can simply be your naiveté, but since you hold yourself in such high regard, this must not be true.
ReplyDeleteOr it is? Personally, I would prefer to believe you are simply so naïve as to have difficulty in understanding why someone would not feel the need to entertain your attempt to be a nice person. Clearly, you have not considered the consequences that may arise from this project. I don’t believe that “Hunter Gatherer” owes you much. Have you considered he may be feeling this way not because he is heart-broken, but because someone has publicly criticized his values? Do you deserve to have him be polite?
What is upsetting is the attack on his values. Now let’s consider this. We live in a country, in which diversity is important, and people should be respected for their beliefs, values, culture, religion etc… I think most Canadians believe this is true. You do not have to subscribe to these values on your own, and perhaps this is the reason you will not date “Hunter Gatherer” as you clearly do not share the same set of values. He has reason for his values, as evidenced through your description of them, regardless of if you subscribe to them or not. I question, what gives you the right to attack someone’s values, in such a poor manner, in a public forum?
My hope certainly is that you will learn something from this experience. I acknowledge that when I first heard about your project, it was intriguing. The idea is a good one. But, the approach and implementation of this project has not realized its potential. A good writer would understand the consequences of their actions, assess it, and write a tasteful, funny and engaging account of their dates, rather than relying on attacking the very part that makes people unique and strong in their character. I admire and respect “Hunter Gatherer” for remaining true to his values, regardless of the ridiculous analysis of an aspiring writer. I suppose he is not the only one still acting like they are in kindergarten.
hahahah i have a feeling these are hunter gather's friends sending you these lovely comments
ReplyDeleteBut you are Sky.
ReplyDeleteYou blog about your experience.
It is not true ... or right.
It's your experience of the evening/situation/date.
... I think you need to write from your experience ... and not do any navel gazing. (You wouldn't ... when writing /dating with confidence.)
I love this video ... where you are my star.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3YVdblhnx0
The criticism seemed reasonable to me, at worst there was a mis-communication here. Sky was trying to be nice, "Hunter" thought she was being snide. She was not even uncritical of the date or the person.
ReplyDeleteHow would he have responded if she'd declined to acknowledge him at all? If she'd nodded to him and ignored him the rest of the night? He'd have found reason for spite either way.
Give me a break, a guy that's this out there has got to anticipate that in a forum such as this he's going to get the gears. Collecting his water in barrels, climbing trees to cut down secret nutritious mushrooms, and only eating something he feels comfortable killing? Hopefully that discludes homosapiens from his diet. He does sounds like quite the character, certainly someone I'd enjoy meeting at a party, but I suspect many people would end their relationship with him there.
ReplyDelete(great blog!)