Island Paradise and 5 Seconds' Disaster

I Googled 50 Dates in 50 Days just to see what would come up. It's amazing to see that the whole first page of search results were about my experience. It's also amazing that I just got an e-mail to be interviewed by Reader's Digest. Though this experience was over months ago, the readership hasn't ceased. This is fantastic because the more people that know about the book, the better!

I also stumbled upon a few people's blogs who wrote about my 50 dates. One that I found particularly entertaining was This One. I was particularly happy to read all of the comments.

On another note, it's amazing that I can go almost anywhere and find Starbucks. Is this a good or bad thing? I find comfort in the same drinks, sights and sounds offered by this American giant. However, others argue that the large chain distracts from local business.

If that is in fact the case, then I am distracting from local Hawaiian shops. Yes, you read correctly, I'm at Starbucks in Hawaii; Honolulu to be exact.

It's amazing that there is a large metropolitan city right on the shores of this beautiful island. It's a bit boggling but a fantastic place nonetheless. I have met heaps of amazing people starting from the moment that I set foot off the plane and onto Hawaiian soil.

My days have been spent meeting interesting folk, riding my bicycle (yes, I bought it along in a big box), sitting on the beach and working on the book. Speaking of the book, when I Googled 50 Dates in 50 Days, I discovered that someone did the same thing in the States. However, she dated a man in each state. Then I found out that someone globe trotted to find Mr. Right and wrote a book about it.

For a second, I panicked as I thought that maybe the stories are too similar to mine. Then, I quickly relaxed and realized that everyone's story is unique and so what if a few other women went on similar dating quests. That's three of us that I have read about so far. Three out of millions. It will be okay, the book is still unique.

What is also unique is 5 Seconds' experience that I am still following. I apologize for the delay in the update. For those of you who don't know, I am following a friend and date's quest to find true love. This is his last week-end of the journey that, in fact, ends tomorrow.

Last week, he said the following:

I ended up canceling my trip to Toronto because ultimately I am looking for someone special and after some thought that’s just way too far to start anything serious. There are fabulous women in town, and even if I don’t meet the girl I’m looking for out of this experience my odds are much better if I keep it local.

So, my next date since the last update was with Contagious. I have known this girl for a couple of years and she gets her nickname from her contagious smile and laugh. When she’s doing either it’s impossible not to follow suit. When we first met she was seeing someone, and when that didn’t work out I happened to be in a long term relationship so the timing was never right to see if there was anything worth pursuing in a dating frame.

She’s been following the blog since it started and wanted to change things up. We went for breakfast, chatted and overall, enjoyed each others company. We then went for a walk around a river out in the mountains and stopped to enjoy a great vantage point for quite some time before I needed to get home for another date. It was a lovely time and we made some plans to get together later the next week.

Next, I met Disaster. This date was the worst to date, not just on this adventure, but I’d say ever. I didn’t take a lot of time to get to know Disaster after she messaged me on a dating website as there isn’t much time left in the month. I guess you could say that I missed a few red flags. She turned out to be quite a good liar and I’m assuming she’s been running this destructive life-style for a while.

I arrived at her place as I was going to cook her dinner; that part of the date went off well. She was attractive, outgoing and fun. We talking for a while and she mentioned she was going to put on a movie. She made me a drink and we sat down.

We were close on the couch when I heard some keys at the front door and another guy came in. He looked over and when saw us on the couch, his demeanor shifted quickly. I could tell this was not going to be a good situation so I stood up and asked who he was. He was far from calm at this point and rightfully so. He asked who I was in a cursive manor and as I turned to point at Disaster, I mentioned I had just met her today and we were on a date. Just then, I took a rather decent shot to my face and I’m sporting quite the shiner now. I have never been on the other end of the situation but I was compassionate to what he must have be feeling so I didn’t want to escalate the situation at all. I put up my hands, palms towards him, and mentioned that I didn’t want a fight and that I had no idea she was involved with someone. He kind of took a step back and pointed at Disaster and said “We’re done this time!” and he left.

What an awkward first date - Needless to say I have not planned another meeting with Disaster.

Sky - I still can't believe this story about disaster. I find it unbelievable that anyone would invite someone over for a date when they have a boyfriend - especially a boyfriend who could show up at anytime. What is this world coming to?

Numbness

Numb: According to the Dictionary, numbness is referred to as the deprivation of the power to feel or move normally. Numbness can also be emotional unresponsiveness and indifference.

Our lucky bachelor is feeling numb. How could he not be? After so many dates and so many women, it would only be natural for emotions to shut down and to enter into a world where he can feel nothing. Is he trying to protect himself? Is he scared to hurt others? Or is he simply overwhelmed?

I know that after a dozen dates I felt the same way. I couldn't even tell you how disconnected I felt after going on 50. I have never been so emotionally unavailable and distraught as I was after going on 50 dates in 50 days so I know exactly how our bachelor feels. In fact, he said to me, "The oddest thing is that during the first week or so I was overwhelmed with conflicting thoughts and emotions but now it’s like it’s all shut off. I don’t feel anything. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as I can objectively look at the situation and hopefully find the woman that will be the best fit."

I'm glad that he is staying strong and continuing on with his dates in order to find true love. He had a couple of dates over the past few days and here is what he had to say about them:

Smartypants

The last time I saw this stunning young woman was when I had her help me dismantle a desk and move it into my place. I figured I needed to take her out and show her a good time to make up for having her work. I gave her the nickname Smartypants years ago when we first met. She has a real quick wit to her and isn’t afraid to speak her mind and always has a clever remark to make.

I took her to one of my favorite places to eat where they have the best Ahi Tuna Tacos. We ordered a drink and talked about some of the adventures we had been on in the past. One of our favorite memories was spending a weekend together skydiving and camping. The collective soul concert was a blast as well, and we met Ed Roland after the show in the casino. We have always gotten along perfectly and we always have a blast together.

Conversation is always easy with Smartypants as she brings an interesting perspective to things and it’s always a pleasure spending time with her. The confident manner in the way she carries herself and her stunning good looks always turn heads wherever we are. It was getting late so I took her home and we made plans to see each other on the last Friday of the month. As expected, it was a great night out with Smartypants.

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Sparky

This passionate young woman made the plans and took me out for the night. She earned her nickname for her very energetic nature. When she is talking about something that she loves, it’s hard to not to get caught up in her enthusiasm. The plans were to meet at her friend’s house and since I arrived before Sparky, I introduced myself to her cycling buddy as she invited me in to meet everyone else.

The woman who owned the place asked how I knew Sparky and I told the tale of how we met and mentioned my current dating quest. Immediately, all of the women were interested in what I am doing this month and they began firing questions my way. It is great to see that women have a never-ending interest in dating stories.

Sparky arrived and she presented me with a care package which included dark chocolate, mini-shots, but most importantly a rock. She biked across Canada one summer and when she arrived on the East coast after an 8, 000 km bike ride, she collected 8 rocks from the coast. She gave me one and this is something I will always cherish.

We got deep into conversation, talking about relationships for a great deal of our conversation as well as life in general. She is the only person that understands what it’s like to date this many people in a short period of time and she always has great advice for me to learn from.

After a while we headed out to the bar where we found an empty booth to set up shop. It was then that I learned that the "man's duty" is to stand guard and watch the purses and coats while the women hit the dance floor.

We partied for the night and at last call, Sparky and I walked back to the car. I got in my car and we went our separate ways after a fabulous night out.

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In other news, I am not going to make it to Toronto this week end for my 3 dates over there. Nonetheless, I am excited for my next date with Sweets as I have a rather unique idea for a date that will hopefully show her a good time. It’s going to take sometime to prepare but I have some time off this week that will allow me the time to prepare and hopefully sweep her off her feet!

Bubbles

A little bit about 5 Seconds: First off, what a guy. This man is truly honest, generous and down to earth. Trust me, I have met a lot of men and there aren't many out there like him. He is comfortable with who he is and he sticks to his values. I did already know this but after having the pleasure of spending this evening with him, I am further convinced that he is one of the best catches in Calgary!

And, as you know, he is on a bit of a dating mission. So, in his words, here is a recap of his date from last night:

This good looking young woman was a replacement for Bachelorette # 2. She had e-mailed me on a dating website where we had exchanged a couple of emails. She was aware of what I was doing this month and I asked her to partake in the adventure when Bachelorette # 2 couldn’t reschedule in this month. We went ahead and made plans to meet for a quick coffee since we had not met in person and coffee seems like a safe and easy way to begin getting to know someone.

I arrived and saw her sitting at a table reading a magazine. When she saw me, she smiled so I waved and bought a drink before joining her. We talked for a while but something just seemed off. The conversation was a bit awkward and I felt like I really had to work at it to keep it going. A few years ago, I studied body language when I was studying psychology and I noticed that she kept touching her neck and breaking eye contact which are generally signs of nervousness. I asked her what was wrong and she mentioned that she was a little intimidated by the whole situation. This is evidently fair and I have to say, I greatly respect all of the women who have taken part in this adventure as it takes a lot of courage.

Hoping to make Bubbles a little more comfortable I suggested that we go elsewhere as I stood up and put out my hand. She took it and we headed to my car. I didn’t have any plans at this point since I figured it would just be a coffee date; however, one of my favorite things to do when I’m bored is head to the music store and play expensive guitars I can’t afford. So off we went to a music store close by.

She smiled as we pulled up and she mentioned that she is a guitarist. I mentioned I am a bassist and after this she was super talkative which made me smile. It was easy to tell that music was her thing and that she was very comfortable in this area. At this point, she grabbed my hand and took me to the acoustic guitar area and picked up a particularly nice Fender. She played a rendition of Bubbles’ “Liquor and Whores” which was priceless. I was laughing so hard I could barely catch my breath.

We played for a while and I took her to a close by pub for a drink. We continued talking and by then, the conversation was a lot more fun. She was intelligent and humorous; she had me laughing on quite a few occasions. She was also gorgeous. However, I’m not sure what it was, but I just didn’t feel the attraction that I have for a couple of the other women that I have met so far. I openly told her how I felt but suggested that we play music together sometime as friends. She said she would really like that so it looks like I have a new jam buddy.

On another note, Hot Shot and I talked and I told her that I don’t feel that we have any potential. Sometimes everything can be right on paper; gorgeous, successful, confident... The issue for me is that her passion is her work; it’s all she thinks about. I definitely want an ambitious and motivated woman, but not to the point where it would be hard to have fun with her on the week-ends.

In addition, Mallory met someone and they are now dating exclusively which is fantastic! So I started with 10 women and I'm now down to 7. There have been some tough decisions so far as everyone I have met is special in their own way. It is tricky, however, because I only want one special girl so I know there are going to be more difficult decisions along the way.

So far, I’m interested in two of the women that I have met. I have always been very much a one woman sort of guy, even in dating scenarios, so this has all been quite overwhelming. After stressing for awhile trying to figure out who I would choose at this point, the only solution is to just take everything day by day and see what happens. If one of these women is the right girl for me, it will just happen naturally. I shouldn’t stress too much about the outcome yet since I’m not even half way through. I am going to focus on enjoying the experience since it’s certainly a once in a lifetime event.

Sweets

The photo you see above is the photo that 5 Seconds worked on with Blue Eyes, one of his previous dates. He did thoroughly enjoy his date with her and creating this photo; however, this next date was so good that he saw the girl again the very next day. 5 Seconds' pursuit of love is really showing me that it is out there, it's just a matter of good timing and an open mind. Here he goes:

I arrived to pick this beauty up at her place and she was looking stunning. She handed me a box of cookies with a note written on it that read “(Insert My Name), Wishing you the greatest of adventures! May your every wish come true… Especially tonight! xo (Insert Her Name)” It was the most adorable thing anyone has done for me on a first date. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and thanked her for such a thoughtful gesture. In fact, I’m enjoying the last of the cookies as I write this and they are delicious!

We headed out to go skating and I was certainly excited since it has been years since I have played hockey or even been on a pair of skates. Sweets had also mentioned that it had been years for her so we joked about how we could feel awkward together. Conversation was easy with Sweets and I immediately felt comfortable with her; perhaps it was her adorable gesture with the cookies or perhaps a true connection.

We rented some skates and got geared up to see if we could both stay on our feet with two blades under them. Surprisingly we did well and neither of us fell. Within a couple of laps, we were deep in conversation and holding hands while we skated around the rink. We conversed about things that I would normally never talk about on a first date and I knew then and there that Sweets is a very unique woman.

We decided we’d go for a drink before calling it a night so we headed to a local pub near her place. As I continued to get to know her, it was clear that she is a very thoughtful woman and values her friends deeply. These are qualities that are important to me in a potential partner.

We cleared up our tab and I took her back to her place where she invited me up to watch some videos of my old band. I was happy that she took an interest in things I am most passionate about. We called it a night and made plans to get together the next day as we were both free and absolutely stoked on spending more time together.

I picked her up the next afternoon at about 3pm and we headed to Safeway to buy some groceries for dinner and then drove down to a lake in South Calgary for another art piece she was going to help me create. In this piece, the couple is embracing after a crash landing on an uninhabited planet and it will be titled “Always Hope”. She was a good sport and humored me as we headed to the lake. There was a life guard post conveniently nearby which I set the camera on for a good perspective shot of the scene and coupled with the intense sunshine on this beautiful October day, this shot turned out perfectly.

Pleased with the work, we headed back to make dinner. We watched a movie while I marinated our dinner and then got started on the cooking. When dinner was ready, she lit a couple of candles and we sat down to eat. I was impressed that she was creating some romance for us as I am usually the one who takes the lead in this area. It was a great meal and afterward, we had another drink and continued to get to know each other. I had an amazing week end and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to know someone as quickly as I have with Sweets. We have plans to get together next week and I look forward to getting to know her even better.

Hot Shot!

Hot Shot struck again with another fabulous date. On our last date, this successful beauty won a bet I made so the deal for this date was that I would pick up the tab. To make me live up to my bet, she decided that I would cook dinner for her best friend and best friend's boyfriend. To top it off, she even had a recipe that she wanted me to cook.

I arrived at her place with a bottle of red and white and was impressed to see she had all the ingredients organized on the counter of her beautiful, lavish kitchen. I was to prepare Jerk Chicken with sweet potatoes and asparagus. I got to work until the buzzer went and the other couple had arrived. Hot Shot's best friend, Smiley, and her boyfriend, Doc, had a lot of nice things to say about me as they mentioned that they had heard a lot about me. I was flattered!

The dinner preparations went off without a hitch as we all enjoyed each others company over wine and good conversation. Dinner also turned out great, and that recipe is one I will certainly have to cook again. We cleaned up before launching into a game of Scrabble. It was easy to tell that Hot Shot could litigate her way out of anything as I had barely heard of many of the words that she laid down on the board. In fact, she beat us so bad that I don't know if all of our scores combined could even beat her high score.

Smiley and Doc left shortly after the game and I offered to help Hot Shot with the dishes. Just as we got the sink filled up with soap,hot shot leaned in as if she was going to kiss me but at the last second, she put soap on my nose! What a tease! But I liked it and it was only natural to turn this situation into a full out soap suds war. We were laughing so hard that I could barely catch my breath. I am so pleased with another great date with Hot Shot!

As for the night prior to that, I was meant to have a date with Bachelorette # 2 but unfortunately she canceled as she was feeling really sick. I didn’t have enough time to reschedule anything so I had a night off and got to work on the piece Blue Eyes helped me with.

Blue Eyes and Some Changes

I thought it was funny when 5 Seconds nicknamed his most recent date Blue Eyes bachelorette #10), because one of my dates had that exact pseudonym. Contrarily to my date with Blue Eyes, 5 Seconds had his best day yet with this lovely lady who seems to have swept him off his feet. In his words, the date went like this:

Before my 30 day quest, I had had one date with Blue Eyes. I left this second date a mystery to Blue Eyes who has earned her nickname for having the most gorgeous, big, beautiful eyes I have seen.

I arrived to pick her up and my heart may have skipped a beat when I saw her come out the front door looking absolutely stunning. One of the first things I noticed when I first met her is how gorgeous she is. To top it off she's also really sweet, adorable and down-to-earth. She mentioned that she had been having a rough day so in hopes of brightening her day, I put my finger under her chin and kissed her. She smiled and mentioned that her day was now looking like it was going to get better.

We drove down to The Clay Ground, a place where you pick out an unfinished clay item and paint it. They then clear glaze the work and fire it in their Kiln to bring it to life. We talked for hours while we painted and when there was a lull in conversation it wasn’t awkward at all. One of my best friends once told me, “When you find someone with whom you can share a silence without it being awkward, you have found someone special.” I guess time will tell if this is true.

I then had an art idea that I was hoping Blue Eyes would help me complete. For this photo, a couple is standing under a tree on a foreign planet. They are deeply in love, and standing hand in hand looking at each other. They are in their favourite “spot” together. This particular planet will only get a couple of hours of direct sunlight daily so the plants need to store the sunlight in phosphorescent material, a form of photoluminescence that emits the light over-time so the plants can survive in the long periods of darkness. The scene will be lit by these phosphorescent plants and the large tree the couple is standing under. Behind the couple and the tree, will be a large waterfall. The refracting light from the photoluminescence plants and floating seeding will create a brilliant and colourful rainbow effect, while the crashing water below will create bellowing mist. The particular location I took Blue Eyes to was chosen because of it’s proximity to a river and a perpendicular stream running into the river. This is going to be a challenging piece to create but I hope to have a unique piece Blue Eyes could be a part of.

It was a bit of a stroll to get to the location, but we enjoyed the gorgeous fall day. We arrived on location and I pulled out the camera, took some test shots, adjusted my exposure and setup a remote timer. I rushed over to get in the shot, and took Blue Eyes hands as she looked up at me with her big beautiful eyes. It was impossible for me not to smile. Blue Eyes held her position perfectly and the auto focus worked like a charm, producing a great shot.

I packed up the camera gear, held out my hand and she took it as we walked back to my car. We headed to my place, where we enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine, a home cooked meal and then cuddled up to watch Lucky You. It was then getting late so I took Blue Eyes home.

We arrived at her house and kissed for a while before we called it a night. At the same time I said “Sweet Dreams” she said “Drive Safe” which shows just one of the cute similarities in our personality. Thinking about Blue Eyes on my drive home made me miss my turn off the highway. This 9 hour second date was fantastic and there wasn’t a moment I didn’t enjoy spending with Blue Eyes.
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I continue to get asked countless times what will happen if I meet someone special right away? I might have already, but it’s too early to tell this quick in any normal dating scenario and this one. I don’t believe in love at first site, that’s impossible to me. Love is something that is found over time. You need to know the person’s strengths but more importantly their weaknesses and love and accept those as well before you can truly love someone. The only thing I can tell in the early stages is that I’m interested, and willing to see where things go. At this point Blue Eyes has certainly captured my attention. She texts me just to wish me a good day at work and see how my day is going; it’s these little things that count the most to me. Things like this make me smile ear to ear.

There have been a couple changes as Bachelorette # 9 has decided to take things a little more seriously with someone she was seeing and doesn’t want to jeopardize that potential so she put me in touch with her best friend. So meet the new Bachelorette # 9 - Going off a recommendation, I was interested in meeting this woman. She has a passion for life and art; I have seen her work and it’s quite impressive. She’s an outdoor education teacher who told me that she’ll buy me a yellow Ferrari when we meet. I enjoy her sarcastic sense of humour and certainly look forward to my new ride. Giallo Modena!

Also another Bachelorette pulled out, so I found someone else who was interested. Meet Bachelorette # 11 - She contacted me online and after reading her profile and getting to know her a bit, she sounds like an interesting woman. She’s the owner of a successful massage therapy company which she is very passionate about. She loved the dating experiment and has given me some great advice on how to approach everything as I was open with her on how confusing everything is so far for me. “…tune into their good points and bad to help you make that final decision. But the key is to have fun and it will all work out in the end! Always does.”

So it sounds like things may be rather overwhelming for 5 Seconds. That is inevitable as dating numerous people at once is confusing and quite the emotional roller-coaster. However, knowing this young man, he will stay strong and that will enable him to make the right choice.

Zombie Date

5 Seconds made it through the first week end of his dating adventure. He is having a great time and still looking forward to the dates to come. In his words, his second date with Bachelorette #1 (See older post about #1) went as follows:

This Bachelorette, who will be known as Mallory, arrived promptly at my place which was perfect as punctuality is a great quality. She brought with her a box of makeup and proceeded to transform me into a zombie.

You may be asking why she would do this? Well, each year hundreds of people dress up as Zombies in a flash mob mentality, gather at a location and shuffle down the street. It was quite amusing to see the looks on people’s faces that were not aware of the event. I can just imagine sitting at a sets of lights when suddenly hundreds of people dressed as Zombies shuffle across the street.

Before getting to the meeting point, we walked the streets all dressed up and certainly scared a few people. It reminded me of the movie Natural Born Killers with Micky and Mallory Knox where we knew something that everyone else didn’t. I know if I saw a couple walking down the street and wasn’t aware of the event I’d certainly think they were a bit strange, but it would be cute that they were doing it together.

After the event we headed back to my place and watched a couple of episodes of CSI before I began cooking us some dinner. We enjoyed our meal, drank some wine and had a lovely conversation. Mallory is certainly an interesting girl. We kissed goodnight, and that makes two great dates in a row. I’m just about to go meet Bachelorette #10 for a full day of fun activities I have planned. Will it be three great dates in a row?

Date 1 - Hot Shot

Our lucky bachelor had a great first date with Bachelorette #4 (read previous blogs for a description of her). It sounds like a brilliant evening to me. In fact, I would be surprised if this doesn't make you a little jealous. So, without further adieu, in his words, this is how it all went:

To begin, I must say that this date didn’t go as planned and my date's cleverness earned her the nickname Hot Shot. The original plan to pick her up and then head out for dinner changed over the course of the evening but that definitely spiced up the night.

I arrived and she buzzed me up to one of nicest condos I have ever seen. It was obvious that Hot Shot was very well off as a Lawyer; her shoe collection at the front door was likely worth more than everything I owned. I’m not rich myself but I’m used to making more money than people I have dated in the past, not that it matters but it was different for me.

She was running a bit behind so she invited me in and showed me to her bar where I was to pour myself a drink. I looked around to see that the space was immaculate and absolutely everything was in its place. I could tell she was very organized and structured as a woman. I also drew the conclusion that she is probably very used to getting her way, especially with men. However, what I enjoyed the most was her appreciation for art. As that is my passion in life, it would be a deal breaker if my date was not at all interested in art.

We talked for a bit while I finished my drink, and she mentioned where we were going for dinner. She then quickly mentioned that she was paying for it, so I shouldn’t worry. I got the impression that she placed a lot of value on money, and assumed this would impress me. Money is important, sure, but not when it comes to finding someone special. Feeling saucy, I bet her that we could go out and I could show her a good time while only spending a total of $20. The bet was for who would pay for the next date and she took me up on the offer.

Now, in this moment I had no plan and was actually having trouble thinking of where we could enjoy a meal for under $20. However, I enjoy challenges so it was on. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself as I went from having a gorgeous woman offering to pay for dinner to trying to figure out how the hell I was going to pull this off...

My racing mind was diverted as we drove past piles of leaves on people's lawns. When I was a kid, I loved making huge leaf piles and jumping in them. Now, being older and having more powerful toys, driving through a giant leaf pile seemed like a blast as well. I pulled over, turned off the car and hopped out. I saw a rake, so I started collecting leaves. Hot shot got out of the car and asked what I was doing. I explained what I wanted to do and she excitedly joined me in making a massive pile of leaves on the road. We took turns directing traffic around our pile, yelling "CAR" if anyone else drove by. We hopped back in the car, bucked up and reversed down the road to get a good run at it. We blazed through the leaves, exploding into laughter while we did.

I then had to get my thinking cap on and come up with an idea for dinner. So I mentioned I knew this great little Italian place and we’d go there for food. Dinner cost $14.83 to be exact. With about $5 left, I figured we needed some munchies, so we headed to 7-11 where I gave Hot Shot $5.17 and told her to spend wisely. She did well and we were left with only a few nickels and dimes.

Now stocked with chips and a drink I drove us to a parking lot with a great view of downtown. I could sense her hesitation as she asked what we were doing. She was probably thinking that I was about to put moves on her which wasn’t the case. I told her that it was dinner and movie, a typical first date…

I pulled out my laptop, grabbed a blanket and we moved in the back seat to watch Date Night. We had a great chat after the movie before I drove her home. We said goodnight, she opened the car door partly but then turned back, leaned in and kissed me. She then pulled away ever so slightly, and then mentioned that I had lost the bet..."You forgot to factor in the price of gasoline." She smiled ear to ear, touched my lip with her finger and got out of the car. I guess Hot Shot wins this time!