Connect

I was at the liquor store today and someone came in to buy a case of beer. He pulled out his wallet to pay as he said, "Finally, I can go home, put on my pajamas and get drunk."

I couldn't help myself, I laughed. However, to him, this was no joking matter. I felt bad for a second and then wondered. Was this man upset? Depressed? Unsatisfied? Single? Heartbroken? All of the above?

I certainly wasn't about to ask him his life story but he got me thinking about all of the men I have met recently and especially those I went on dates with during the 50 days.

Not that all of my dates are out their drinking away their sorrows and loneliness, but they all, at one point or another, expressed their desire to meet someone. To fall in love. To get married. To start a family.

Now, I'm having a coffee at Starbucks and looking around wondering about this pursuit of love and a life with someone. There are lots of nice looking men sitting here alone. Are they married? Are they lonely? Are they in love? Are they fulfilled? I'd be lying if I said that I don't think about this a lot. Obviously, it fascinates me.

What I'm even more interested is the disconnect between all of the men that I have met and dated, all 50 or so of them, and the great women out there. Yes, we all know about speed dating and internet dating; however, there has to be a better way to harvest connections.

Trying to solve this mystery and writing the book have kept me busy. The book is going great. In fact, it's nearly done being written. What's hard about it, however, is that every time I write a story about a date, feelings, happiness or frustration, I relive the experience. I remember all of the events, good and bad, but I feel them as I write about them. The heartbreaks bring a frog in my throat. The comical dates make me laugh.

Writing about my personal life on a blog was great but wasn't always easy. But writing it again with more raw details about the men, the intimacy and the emotions has been one of the hardest challenges of my life. That being said, I look forward to being able to get the book published and allow you to understand what really happened during those 50 days.

Love

Love can be powerful, painful and beautiful. We are all born with the ability to love and be loved. It's something that everyone can experience regardless of age, colour, shape, sex, location, etc.

I have been traveling around Hawaii and I have met so many people from all over the world. It's interesting how often the topics of love, dating and relationships get mentioned. I made a point not to start these conversations but people seem to love to talk about these topics with me.

I was chatting with someone the other day on the beach who said that whether they will admit it or not, most men are also in the pursuit of true love. He said men may try to be all tough and macho but on the inside they just want to care for someone and have that feeling reciprocated.

That was exactly the case with 5 Seconds whose pursuit of love has come to and end. I have been writing about his adventure to date 10 women in 30 days in hopes of finding that special someone.

Did he find her? Has he been swept off his feet? Right now, he's not sure. He has not jumped into a serious relationship; however, there are a few women he would see again. Only time will tell if any of those situations will grow into anything.

He enjoyed his last date on the week end with a woman known as Mellow as she was calm and collected. For him, she was one of the most positive people he had ever encountered which he found very refreshing.

5 Seconds picked up his date before stopping for groceries and heading back to his place to concoct a delicious dinner. Though they had a nice time chatting, 5 Seconds didn't feel any sparks but he could tell that she did. Was he getting tired of meeting new women all the time? Was he becoming too picky? Or was there really no connection? That is a tricky thing about the dating world, which can be very overwhelming especially when dating so many people at the same time.

5 Seconds and I agree that the biggest pain in the ass and most unfortunate thing about dating is that you can meet someone that you like but they may not like you, or vice versa. Really, how do two people ever meet and feel the same way? It's still a mystery to me.

5 Seconds and his date watched a movie before he drove her home. She was waiting for a good night kiss, but 5 Seconds did not want to lead her on. Though she was an amazing girl, he knew that she wasn't for him so he ended the date and will not be seeing her again.

When I get back from Hawaii, I'll have to meet up with 5 Seconds to see how he is doing, what he is feeling and if things have progressed with any of the other women that he met. It will be understandable if he is feeling confused, tired, lost and even more alone than he did before this quest for love began.

Personally, I am sick and tired of hearing people tell me that "things happen when you least expect them." If one more person tells me, "oh, you are a great girl, you deserve someone," I will stick a fork in their eyes. But, perhaps they are right and when things are meant to happen for myself, 5 Seconds, or anyone else seeking a mate, it will just happen in the most unexpected fashion. If not, being single is also wonderful. Seriously, it is.