I'm just sitting with a good friend who thinks that it's okay to disappear after a few dates and not tell the other person what happened or why.
We are having a bit of a disagreement because I think that it's nice when someone tells the other person what's going on instead of simply leaving phone calls and text messages unanswered.
Evidently, it also depends how many times you saw each other and what you did with your time together, but I think there is a certain level of respect that both parties deserve when ending a dating scenario. I guess it might be okay if both people are uninterested and neither one is calling the other but that seems to be a rare occurrence.
My friend and I started discussing this topic because after five or six rather extensive dates with a guy, he just vanished. He was pursuing me like crazy and then just fell off the face of the earth. I'd be lying if I said that I am sitting here heart broken but it just seems strange that people think it's socially acceptable to pursue someone and treat them so nicely to then drop them like a basketball.
I can't say that I have never simply stopped calling and disappeared but it doesn't seem like such a big deal after one or two dates. Any more than that, however, I think some respectful closure is in order. Maybe I'm wrong? What do you think? At what point is it unacceptable to just stop dating without letting the other person know?
I think it's always best to be honest, even if it's just to say "I don't think this is working for me.". You deserve at least that.
ReplyDeleteI think that a relationship deserves an honest conversation depending on how serious it was whether it takes place in person or not. Yes, it can be hard to find the words or to face the person to end it but in the long run...it is the right thing to do.
ReplyDeleteBy the way...recently about 6 wks ago...I had a guy dump me via facebook. This was a guy that told me he loved me that I had known for 8 mos and dated seriously for a few. In a matter of days he did a complete 180 and left me reeling and my only thoughts I was left with was "wow, I really didn't know him at all nor knew that he was capable of being so hurtful". He proved himself to be a coward which is ironic because of his career. I have enjoyed your blog -- even though I am a decade older -- our stories are so very similar.
Et bien des fois des gens disparaissent et aucun contact pendant un ou deux ans, parfois 10 ans même, parfois ils réapparaissent, parfois non, c'est comme ça. Ca arrive pour des gens qu'on aime ou de simples amis, et quand on se revoit, pas de rancoeur, tout est comme avant, c'est de bons moments, la vie est comme ça, avant on restait là où on habitait pour le travail, le mariage, la famille, maintenant tout le monde est au "quatre coins du monde", alors...
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