I was at the liquor store today and someone came in to buy a case of beer. He pulled out his wallet to pay as he said, "Finally, I can go home, put on my pajamas and get drunk."
I couldn't help myself, I laughed. However, to him, this was no joking matter. I felt bad for a second and then wondered. Was this man upset? Depressed? Unsatisfied? Single? Heartbroken? All of the above?
I certainly wasn't about to ask him his life story but he got me thinking about all of the men I have met recently and especially those I went on dates with during the 50 days.
Not that all of my dates are out their drinking away their sorrows and loneliness, but they all, at one point or another, expressed their desire to meet someone. To fall in love. To get married. To start a family.
Now, I'm having a coffee at Starbucks and looking around wondering about this pursuit of love and a life with someone. There are lots of nice looking men sitting here alone. Are they married? Are they lonely? Are they in love? Are they fulfilled? I'd be lying if I said that I don't think about this a lot. Obviously, it fascinates me.
What I'm even more interested is the disconnect between all of the men that I have met and dated, all 50 or so of them, and the great women out there. Yes, we all know about speed dating and internet dating; however, there has to be a better way to harvest connections.
Trying to solve this mystery and writing the book have kept me busy. The book is going great. In fact, it's nearly done being written. What's hard about it, however, is that every time I write a story about a date, feelings, happiness or frustration, I relive the experience. I remember all of the events, good and bad, but I feel them as I write about them. The heartbreaks bring a frog in my throat. The comical dates make me laugh.
Writing about my personal life on a blog was great but wasn't always easy. But writing it again with more raw details about the men, the intimacy and the emotions has been one of the hardest challenges of my life. That being said, I look forward to being able to get the book published and allow you to understand what really happened during those 50 days.