More Bachelorettes and Counting

Good evening. For those of you who don't know, a young bachelor known as 5 Seconds on this blog, is on a mission. He is going to date 10 girls for a maximum of 3 dates in 30 days in the interest of finding true love, or "the one."

The first five bachelorettes have already been described and the next three have been selected. In this words, 5 Seconds describes them as follows:

Bachelorette #6: We met years ago at a show that we were both performing in. We had planned to go on a first date around that time, but it was -40 and at the time I didn't have a car...so I canceled the date. Since then, we did not manage to go on a date but rather, we ended up having a blast together as friends. There is nothing about her that I don't like and to top it off, she's is absolutely gorgeous. I will just have to show her an amazing time on our date to make up for the fact that I canceled on her two years back.

Bachelorette # 7 – We met online a month or so ago. She currently lives in Brazil and is moving to Calgary in early October. We had planned on getting together for a date when she arrived in Calgary, but that was before the 10 women in 30 days adventure. However, she found the premise interesting and we will meet when she gets settled in town. She has a very positive outlook on life and from her modeling portfolio, it is easy to tell she turns heads on the beach.

Bachelorette # 8 – We met well over a decade ago and then dated as teenagers. We fell madly in love; however, we had a clean break-up, moved on and didn't see each other for years. I’ll never forget the day I was walking through the train station and she walked back into my life. She was heading to the train while I was walking away from it. Just like those cliche moments that you see in movies, we went right past each other before stopping in our tracks. She then became my best friend in the world as she has taught me so much about myself, love, life and everything in between. She is absolutely breath-taking, intelligent, ambitious and quick witted; she knows all of my strengths and faults and loves me for the man I am.

Wow, I think this is going to be quite the adventure for 5 Seconds. In fact, if I had to make a prediction, he may very well end up in love with more than one woman and have to chose. In fact, that is some food for thought: Is it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time?

My First Paid Writing Gig at York University

He's Really Doing It!

As I mentioned in the last post, 5 Seconds is up for a life altering challenge. That's right, he going to date 10 women in 30 days with a maximum of 3 dates per lucky lady. So, essentially, he is likely to be going on 30 dates in 30 days. Is he nervous? Is he up for the challenge? Does he know what he's getting himself into? In life, do we ever know what we are getting ourselves into?

Well, he certainly did not expect to get the positive response that he has. He is starting October first and he has received attention from so many ladies. But here is the catch - he is looking for true love which some may refer to as "the one." This is more than just a dating experiment but a quest for that special connection and lifelong partner. Is it possible? I certainly hope so.

The best part of this for us ladies is that he is going to give us true insight from a man looking for "the one." Yes, these men are out there. In fact, I have met quite a few of them and as a result, it bothers me when women say that men are incapable of such a commitment. The problem is that finding that right connection is the tricky part. Two perfectly normal (whatever normal is) people could meet and both be looking for a commitment but simply not click or some part of the timing could be off. It's true, it happens all the time and unfortunately, I am very familiar with this scenario.

Nonetheless, as I mentioned, this lucky bachelor has had attention from numerous women and in his words, he has told me about the following five eligible bachelorettes:

Bachelorette #1 - She is a girl who added me as a favourite on an online dating website. Her interesting profile and dedication to singing in an upcoming musical prompted me to message her. We have met once and after seeing a link on my Facebook profile about the upcoming quest for love, she expressed interest in being part of my adventure. I will have my first date with her on October 2nd where, as per her invitation, she will be doing my makeup and helping me with my costume for Calgary's annual Zombie Walk.

Bachelorette #2 - I contacted her out of the blue on a dating site. I liked her articulate style of writing and it seemed that she knew what she wanted out of life and from a partner. We have not yet met in person; however, her pictures show an incredibly cute smile reflective of someone sweet and down to earth. She has invited me to an after party for Alberta Fashion Week on Oct 1st.

Bachelorette #3 - This quick witted, fiery red head can not only run intellectual circles around almost anyone she meets, but she's also very sexy to boot. She's compassionate, funny and adventurous. We have known each other for years, but have never dated due to poor timing. In the past, we have gone sky-diving and met rock stars - there is never a dull moment when we are together.

Bachelorette #4 - Of all places to meet, I met this lady at the post office. This lawyer was wearing a tight fitting suit; an outfit that I find to be particularly sexy on a woman. I wanted to talk to her but I couldn't think of a way to strike up a conversation. So, the first thing that came to mind was to throw my pen at her. She glanced up and the look on her face expressed, "Are you effing serious?" I then joked about being so clumsy that I usually wear a helmet when I'm out in public. She cracked a smile, we chatted and then exchanged numbers. We'll be getting together in the first week of October.

Bachelorette #5 - We have never met in person, but my first love, with whom I still share a special friendship, put us in touch. Apparently, we have just about everything in common including goals in life. But, just like anything, this will all boil down to chemistry.

So there you have it, the first five eligible ladies. I have to say that I'm impressed that these women are so open and willing to participate in this situation. To me, this shows strength, courage and great character. I hope that you are as eager as I am to see how this all unfolds.

A Man's Perspective

Wow, it's been a while since I have written on here. I have certainly thought about various things to write about but something wasn't right. I guess, simply put, I had a serious case of writer's block. Throw heartbreak into the mix and voila, writing got brushed aside. But, fear not, the blog is back and there are a few important things on the go.

First off, I know that a lot of people are wondering what happened to all of the guys. Did I keep in touch with them? Are we still friends?

Evidently, I can't spend my life keeping in touch with the whole world, but I am still friends with a number of them. Trouble was actually a friend from before and though he was nothing but troublesome during the 50 in 50, we still stay in touch and catch up once in a while. Laser Beam and I also keep each other in the loop about what's going on in each others lives. I'm also still friends with Blue Eyes and Butterflies...And then there's Easy. We clicked during the 50 in 50 and have remained good friends ever since.

A few others e-mail and text message me out of the blue but I haven't seen anyone else with the exception of 5 Seconds. If you followed the blog, you would remember him as the date who took me to a +15 for a photo op to capture what a couple would do if it were the end of the world. He used his artistic talents to create the above photo.

Now, this young man is not only talented, generous and kind but he is also very handsome. So ladies, here you have Calgary's next bachelor. He is going to meet 10 women in 30 days, go on a maximum of 3 dates with each one of them and provide me with the stories and perspectives from these experiences to write about on this blog. Oh, and I can't forget to mention, he's looking for true love.

I will write about what went wrong, what was right and everything else in between; all coming straight from the male's perspective. I'll find out what he was thinking, how he reacted and what it is about a woman that makes a man tick.

He is starting this adventure on October 1st and has about half of the dates lined up. So heads up ladies: if you would like to go on a date with this beautiful, smart and witty young man, feel free to e-mail him at 10womenin30days@spatart.com. Otherwise, sit back, relax and enjoy the upcoming insight that you will find here at 50datesin50days.com.

The Chase; Is It Really Thrilling?

You know, it's been two and a half months since 50 Dates in 50 Days ended but I'm still amazed by everything that happened in that 50 day time frame. I'm always telling friends that it was life altering but I really have a hard time explaining that bold statement.

How did it change my life? What happened that was so shocking?

Well...what didn't happen? That's probably a better question.

Either way, after all the dating, I'll never understand the chase. I will never get why there is a three day rule for calling. In fact, I will never comprehend why there are rules at all. Most importantly, it's a mystery to me why women have to be the ones being chased. Why can't we pick up the phone when we want to talk to a guy?

Yes, people say that it's an even playing ground but let's face reality, guys are the pursuers. They like to go after a woman and if we make ourselves too available they back off and find someone else. At what point does this end? At what point can a lady feel comfortable that calling or messaging a guy is not going to scare him off?

Now that I'm taking off on holidays for a while, I'll have time to really reflect on this mystery as well as all of the life altering 50 days and take some quality time to work on writing my book, 50 Dates in 50 Days - uncut. I'm spending a while out in the boons of Ontario with no internet, phone reception or connection to the outer world so it will be a good time to write and hopefully restore my faith in dating.

Appreciation

Why is it that it's so easy to take things for granted? Have you ever heard the expression, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?"

This goes for anything in life; work, family, friends and of course, relationships. Way back when I was in a serious long term relationship, my boyfriend used to do the nicest things. He cooked me great dinners, drove me all over the place and treated me like a princess.

No part of me regrets the ending of that relationship; however, I look back and feel that I didn't always appreciate the things he did. I didn't know any different so, yes, I took his kind actions for granted.

After dating a whole pile of men, I know that it's hard to find someone who pays attention to the finer details and who genuinely cares about other people. Maybe some guys are simply clueless but many of them are completely wrapped up with themselves. So, when I do come across a date or a friend who isn't like that, I really make a point to be sure that I do not take it for granted.

This brings me to wonder why it's so easy to get angry and focus on the negative things in life. Why don't we tell people more often how much we appreciate them? How hard is it to say thank you, I love you, you are fantastic, you mean so much to me? Really, those words aren't spoken nearly enough. Instead, I always hear people complaining about something negative or about something someone didn't do. Why not focus on what someone did do and appreciate that?

It isn't to say that we can always be positive but perhaps making an effort to, once a day, tell someone who matters just that. I have recently been trying to do this and trust me, everyone appreciates it.

The 3 Month Mark

Have you ever noticed that many relationships end after three months? I don't know what it is with the three month mark but something shifts at that time. Maybe someone gets scared of commitment? Perhaps someone drops the L-bomb too soon? Or is it that people's true colours finally start to shine through?

I don't have the answer to these questions but I do know for certain that something changes at the three month point. If I look back, I have had many situations that lasted just three months. It was almost like clockwork. Things started getting tense, we both wanted different things and the little spark that once was fizzled.

So would it not make more sense to just get to know someone for three months before starting to date? Perhaps developing a solid friendship first is the way to go?

I decided to write about this topic because it has come up in conversation numerous times over the past couple of days. One person I was talking to said that after three months, he found that girls' faults and craziness started to show and that's what freaks him out about the three month mark. Another friend of mine said that if a relationship is to be successful, the couple should wait three months before becoming intimate.

As for myself, my past three month relationships ended because I found that at this point, the honeymoon stage was over and I had gotten to know the person a lot better and had learned that there were too many negative qualities that would get in the way of a healthy relationship.

Either way, regardless of the situation, something happens at the three month mark. I wish I had answers to this mysterious time line but I will never know exactly how to describe this phenomenon. I can, however, say for certain that I, just like many others, am aware and weary of this three month turning point.